


Mathias Bech Næsheim (English)

by JesseLBlack



Category: SKAM (Norway), SKAM (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Even Bech Næsheim Loves Isak Valtersen, M/M, Madness, Mental Illness, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, alternative universe, angst with happy ending, child with bipolar disorder, dad!even, mom!Isak, mpreg without omegaverse, oc!mathias, pregnancy loss, realationship father and son, sex mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2020-08-19 10:53:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20208562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JesseLBlack/pseuds/JesseLBlack
Summary: After two weeks of an intense relationship, Even disappears from Isak's life. The youngest is distraught and feels that he will not recover but he does so, for his son Mathias (Valtersen). The baby is product of the relationship between them. Four years later they meet but the situation is different.Is Isak able to face his son's illness and the pain of seeing his child's father again?





	1. My son has a mental illness.

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Mathias Bech Næsheim](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20109019) by [JesseLBlack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JesseLBlack/pseuds/JesseLBlack). 

> The translation was made by Coky Andrearsen

Isak remembered that Saturday four years ago when he woke up alone in bed. He was still doing his last year at Nissen and his friends had convinced him to relax a little and go to a party with them on Friday and he got lost soon after midnight with a tall blond boy who, from what Isak remembered, attended Elvebakken.

Everything was fine. He hadn’t publicly admitted his homosexuality, but his innermost circle of friends knew and that was more than enough, thus when Magnus, Jonas and Mahdi saw how he left hand in hand with a handsome guy, they weren’t too worried and the next day they cheered him up, asking him how had it gone.

He hated that day because he believed he was in love, but his relationship lasted as long as a sigh and two weeks later Isak had waked up with a note on his pillow that read ‘I’m sorry’ and a picture of the crestfallen blond guy.

_sorry?_

_sorry?_

What was he sorry for? For making Isak waste two weeks for a love that was useless? For having lured a 17-year-old boy to lay with him for two weeks only to throw him away?

He had tried to search for information and went directly to Elvebakken, but there a classmate told him of the guy in question: ‘His name is Even’, he had graduated in the middle of last year, therefore nobody knew where he was, not even them.

Isak gave up. He had lost his virginity with that boy and had spent the best two weeks of his life waking up with someone beautiful sleeping beside him, but heartbreaks appear and –thanks to God- Isak had wonderful friends.

What Isak never expected was what happened a few days later. Nausea was normal, He wasn’t eating well and he felt tired for most of the day, he returned home and slept for hours and Eskild –who had become like a father for him- was very concerned about his health. At the beginning he thought Isak was still sad for Even, it was so fresh yet, he had cried a lot and he barely left the bed. It was a two-week relationship, but they were two intense weeks nevertheless, full of love, sex, passion and mutual surrender. But Isak knew it wasn’t due to that, thus he went to the school doctor and later he had some blood tests done at a laboratory.

"DAD!" screamed a small child with golden blond hair and eyes as blue as the sky as he literally jumped on Isak’s single bed, who hastily turned over to receive his son’s loving hug.

"What did I tell you? Don’t wake your father like that!" Eskild entered to nag the child, but he didn’t listen to the man.

"What time is it?" Isak asked while caressing his son’s head.

"It’s half past six" Eskild replied as he held the boy in his arms "Let’s go make hot cakes, Mathias. Aunt Linn is waiting."

"I’ve got to go to my medical practice at hospital." Isak stood and grabbed his clothes to go into the bathroom while Eskild and Linn took care of Mathias.

After finishing his high school studies and with a fairly advanced pregnancy, Isak started his distance courses because of his condition that made him get ahead a lot; in addition to that, Sana - his partner and great friend - helped him get his first year. Among bottles, diapers and medical texts, Isak had managed to be at a high level, so high that despite missing a year to graduate — or two — he had been given a hospital for his practices. He worked at the Oslo General Hospital, a few minutes from where he lived and had to go there every day at seven in the morning. Then, he had a break to eat before returning to the university and finally arrived at the house at five where he usually was with his poor son who had not seen him all day. He fed the kid, bathed him, changed him to sleep, and then laid him down in bed. That was life now and Isak was grateful that his friends were with him to go find his son in the kindergarten or take him to the park.

"I'm a lousy father" he said, starting the round again, now he was on vacation from college, but that didn't mean he would stop going to the hospital, the only difference was that he had more time there to get all the hours he needed to graduate.

"I don't believe that, your son loves you" Sana said, looking at the files. She was also in the hospital doing the internship.

"I'm on vacation and I can't even spend time with him. I haven't spent a holiday with him and me since he was one year old" He sighed and sat down in a chair.

"Come on, Isak, don't be so depressing" Sana muttered. "Hey, why don't you go find me a coffee at KB?"

"Hm? What time is it?" Isak asked looking at the clock on the wall. It was eight o'clock.

"Decaffeinated."

"Yes, I know." Isak got up from his chair and took his wallet from his belongings box "I need one too."

Isak left to go to KB, the cafeteria near the hospital. He yawned while he walked; he had taken his overalls out of the hospital to leave. It was health regulations, whenever they entered or left they had to change their clothes and Isak was a person of rules and regulations. He got in line, ordered a coffee with milk and a decaf, then paid in the box and left with the cup holder walking down the street thinking about many things. Today he would arrive at his house at 15 and take Mathias to the park. He loved the park, although Eskild would probably bring the kid to him at 14 hours since he also had work. Isak sometimes deposited too many responsibilities in his housemates.

He did not realize when he hit someone's arm and almost made his cups of coffee spill. He didn’t, but what if that boy's papers fell to the ground?

"Oh, I'm sorry" Isak apologized and began to grab the papers to help.

"No problem" whispered a deep voice too familiar to Isak. When the boy looked up to deliver his papers, he met his son's gaze.

There he was, tall as he remembered him to be, hair back and a face so similar to Mathias that Isak had to look twice before realizing that he was not his grown-up son of the future, but someone else. In front of him was Even, the boy who had broken his heart four years ago, carrying papers and dressed completely in civilian clothes. Isak stood there with his mouth open until the boy simply made a gesture of thanks and withdrew, leaving Isak with the words in his mouth.

"Sanasol" Isak exclaimed as he approached the girl, placing both cups on the table.

"Don’t call me that, Isabelle."

"I saw him!" Isak exclaimed "I saw him, I saw him! It is him, it’s Even."

"Isak, I think you’re a little bit obsessed with...."

"¡No, no! I really saw him. He’s just as I remember him and is also identical to Mathias" he exclaimed. Patients could practically hear him because of how loud he screamed.

"Calm down, Isak" Sana eased taking him by both hands. "Well, you saw him, what about it? It’s in the past. He left you with a note. You must not think about that. You have a lot of responsibilities, Isak."

"But he..."

"Isak, it’s been four fucking years" Sana commented lowering her gaze. And she was right. It had been four years and they were only a summer affair. Not even of summer; it was a two-week romance where all they did was having sex and, occasionally, go out.

"You’re right, Sana."

"Now let’s drink our coffee while you tell me about that girl with feet problems" Sana smiled and lifted the cup of coffee off the cup holder. Isak does likewise and together they enter the employees’ room to laugh.

"Valtersen, I need your help" The section chief entered the place where Sana and Isak were working at the time. He did so often "She is a girl, there is a difficulty in her pregnancy..."

"What do you mean?" Asked Sana, since Isak was very sensitive to these issues since he had his baby.

"The baby is dead" the man muttered, adjusting his glasses "The brain did not develop well and you have to take it out. This will be your first confrontation with these circumstances, Isak. To be a doctor you must have the coldness and delicacy of facing this kind of thing."

"Why can't I go? Isak has a son and-" Sana commented, but the man refused.

"No, Miss Bakkoush; we must all face the worst fears" said the man and he was right. Isak knew he was.

"When do I have to go?" Isak asked.

"In half an hour. She's getting an ultrasound and I think it will be too traumatic. Her husband will be there, please be delicate." He left the woman's files on the table and withdrew.

"Yes, Mr. Pettersen."

Silence reigned in the room a few minutes. Sana turned to see if Isak was okay and he was playing with his fingers. Sana had lived through Isak's entire pregnancy with him, with his friends, with Eskild, Linn and Noora. Everyone knew how Isak suffered, how he had gone through the fears of anyone expecting a baby and that, although the child was born without any problem and overflowing with health, Isak had never lost his fear about his child's health.

Not everything was joy for Isak after all. Mathias was quite hyperactive and during the first months he kept crying and moving, even in Isak's belly, which had scared the boy at the time. When they told him it was normal that the children were restless, he calmed down, but he still watched Mathias stealthily.

"Isabelle" she murmured, that pulled Isak out of his thoughts "You can do it, have some faith in yourself."

"Yes, I know Sanasol" he smiled "But every time I face something like that, I can't help but think it could have happened to me. What if it happened to me?"

"It didn't happen to you, Isak" Sana held out her hand and took his gently "And if it had happened to you, Jonas, Mahdi, Magnus, Eskild, Linn, Noora and I would have been by your side."

"I don't know if I could have lived with that." Isak took the file and began to read it, his eyes never ceased to be surprised at everything he read from the girl's medical form and Sana continued to drink her third coffee of the day watching Isak. "It seems that this is the third baby she loses; do you think there is something wrong here?"

"Third? That is a lot; thrombosis during pregnancy?" Sana asked. Isak shook his head.

"This pregnancy was monitored and she received the injections, but she continues to form poorly." He sighed and pulled his hair back. "Do you remember my first echo? How paranoid I was?"

"That's why we put you Isabelle, Isak." She laughed. Isak also laughed to distend from how hard this would be for him. "But you have a beautiful baby, Isak. He’s precious and healthy. What else do you want?"

"Spend time with him..."

"DADDY!" A happy shout made Isak get up from his chair and watch the door open letting a blond whirlwind enter and jump towards Isak. Sana began to laugh. "Aunt Sana!" said the little one and threw himself at Sana.

"Wow, you're still as energized as ever" Sana kissed the boy's head.

"I'm sorry, Isak, but I have to go to work. Linn is in bed and Noora is also working. I tried to call Jonas, Magnus and Mahdi but none could answer." Eskild shrugged his shoulders.

"Okay, thanks Eskild." Isak took his restless child and raised his arms.

"Is it okay if I leave him with you?"

"I leave in an hour and a half, so that's fine. I'll take him to the park so he uses some energy" Isak muttered. Eskild nodded and left.

"This child is hyperactive" Sana commented with a smile.

"Yes, they told me it's normal, but I'm not sure. He gets up so early sometimes and starts to run around the house." Isak kissed Mathias's head very sweetly. "Then there are moments where he falls down and does not want to get up no matter if it is four in the afternoon, he is simply lying there. I must do everything myself, change him, comb him or simply take him to sleep."

"Children are like that" Sana downplayed him, but Isak knows that's not good. _What kind of child gets depressed after being a whirlwind?_

"I don't know" he muttered, looking at Mathias's eyes, they were a little dilated. "Are you ok Mathi?"

"Yes Daddy, I ate candy with Uncle Eskild." Isak smiled; Eskild was spoiling him too much.

"Well, Daddy has to go to work; will you stay with Aunt Sana?." He lowered the boy to the floor and he nodded. "I know you like running everywhere, but not this time, okay? Here you have to be quiet."

"Yes daddy, I'll do like the shhhhh owl" Isak loved to be taught songs in the garden to shut his mouth, although that could be counterproductive, with his son it was elementary.

"Come here, Mathi, there are crayons and sheets to draw."

"Yes, sheets to draw!"

"Mathi, what did we say about the tone of voice?" Isak asked, Mathias put a finger to his lips.

"Shhhh."

"Well, I like that; I'll be back in a while." Isak grabbed the woman's files and left.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Isak doesn't like this; he doesn't like it because he hates having to face hopeful parents and having to give them the worst news. She is young, 23 years old and can have more children if she wants to, but facing this type of surgery after losing two pregnancies was exhausting. Surely it would leave her with a trauma and she would not want to face it again and Isak would be responsible for giving her such bad news.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door several times, on the other side he heard a "go ahead" and entered.

There he met a young couple. She is beautiful, has a prominent pregnancy of about seven months, has short blond hair, looks cheerful but has dark circles under her eyes. Isak pities her, feels bad for her, but tries to see the bright side of this whole situation. Is there?

His heart sinks when he sees the person next to her. A tall, blond boy with long hair back and tied in a short ponytail, his eyes are deep blue and his lips thick and full. He looks at him and Isak also looks at him. They have met before, that same morning, but none say a word. Isak looks back at the file:

** _Sonja and Even Bech Næsheim._ **

"Are you the doctor?" The girl asked, Isak looked at her and sighed in anguish, nodding.

"Actually, I'm a practitioner." He smiled sadly, she nodded and motioned for him to approach. Even didn't take his eyes off Isak at any time.

"I'm Isak Valtersen" he muttered, looking at the young woman and sitting next to her. "I don't like the bad news but, I think I have one" he murmured and clenched his lips. Isak only turned once to see if Even continued to look at him and he did.

"What do you mean? Is something wrong with my baby?" She asked, Isak saw her again and his eyes were bright with anguish, she was always on the verge of crying. Isak didn't want to be responsible for those tears.

"I… well" he sighed and looked at the marriage. "You have to have an abdominal surgery done to take the ... the child." he pointed to the belly. Sonja looked at Even and he turned his gaze away from Isak for the first time to see his wife. "The baby did not develop in term. He did not develop his brain."

"Is dead? Is my son dead?" She asked, let go of her tears and covered her face with her hands.

"I'm so sorry" Isak murmured. "They did several medical studies, but... they can't save him."

"Doctor Valtersen". For the first time since he was there, Isak heard Even's voice again. "Could you leave us a few minutes alone please?" Isak nodded and left, but did not leave the place completely. He remained leaning against the closed door.

"Why, Even?" She asked, still sobbing. "What's wrong with me?"

"There is nothing wrong with you, Sonja!" He explained with the same anguish in his voice.

"Why can't we have children?" Isak could hear how she cried on the other side of the room and put his back on the closed door.

"I don't know, Sonja, maybe it's the best."

"No! I want to be a mother, I want to, Even!" the girl said. "Look at me! Please don't pity me."

"I don't pity you, Sonja, maybe the problem is not you. Maybe the problem is me" the boy said. "Let's try the other way, let's look for another donor, we haven't tried that yet."

"For what? For my son to be born with an absent father."

"Being a biological father is not everything to me, Sonja" he whispered in a broken voice.

"Do you know what happens? You never wanted to have children, so you don't care what happens with this, right? You give a damn if he’s taken from you, right?" She asked offended.

"Don't say that, Sonja" he whispered, he was at the verge of tears. "I bought clothes, boots, everything. I was excited just like you."

"But you never wanted to have children! For you, every pregnancy I had was a dagger, because you don't want to have them, because your job doesn't allow you to be one hundred percent and because of you..."

"Sonja, let's not discuss this here" the boy stopped.

"What are you afraid of, Even?" She asked. For Isak it was enough, he simply left the hall.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It was difficult, but Isak returned home dragging his feet. He had prepared something to eat — he didn't know how his son still survived all the things he did in the kitchen — then they looked at animated cartoons. Mathias moved from side to side and didn't stay still, it was weird and Isak I kept noticing. But 9:30 PM arrived and it was time to go to bed. Isak bathed the little boy - with great difficulty, since neither Eskild nor Noora were there to help him - and took him to the room entangled in a towel.

They were alone that night; it was a prelude to what Isak was thinking of doing. He wanted to move in with his son alone when he graduated and had more time. He knew that in the hospital it would be difficult, but by then his son would already be old enough to go to a club against school hours to keep him distracted.

He placed the baby on the bed and looked for his pyjamas, but Mathias kept moving and shouting. Isak tried to change him but he couldn't, something was happening, something very bad.

"Mathias, please; calm down" he said, placing his arms on his pyjama shirt.

"Noooo noooo!" He shouted, starting to move sharply.

"You can hurt yourself if you keep it up."

"I don't waaaaannnt toooo, daaaaadyyyy!" Mathias began to cry and Isak stopped him, took a better look at the boy and noticed that his pupils were more dilated. "Daaaaddy, heeeeelp meeee daaaaddy… " he began to move more sharply.

"But what's wrong with you?" Isak moved away to see how Mathias got out of bed and started kicking his toys and hitting the walls.

"LEEEEEAVEEEE MEEEEE LEEEEAVEEEE MEEEE DAAADDYYYY!" He was getting out of control, his three-year-old son was mad. Isak took the child but he pushed him away with incredible force.

"Son, what's the matter with you?" Isak tried to keep calm, but Mathias kept crying as if they were killing him and screaming.

"DAAAADDY I DON'T WAAAAANT.... I DON'T WAAAAANT... HEEEELP MEEEE DAADDYYY!" He sobbed loudly, tearing his throat in the crying process.

Isak didn't know what to do; he took potentially dangerous objects and left the room locking Mathias there while he thought. He sat down and covered his face as he started to cry. Eskild arrived five minutes after Isak sent him a message. Upon entering, he heard Mathias’ constant weeping and Isak crying in the living room.

"What happened?" Eskild asked in fright, even listening to the knocking Mathias made against the door. The little boy was only three years old and seemed to tear down the house in a few minutes.

"My son ..." Isak sobbed. Eskild stroked his head. "He went crazy" he muttered. "He is sick, Eskild. My son has a mental illness like my mom."


	2. I'm bipolar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even is Bipolar. Mathias too??
> 
> Thanks you: natlinal for the traduction.  
First: English is not my language. Sorry.
> 
> POV Even.

I remembered it, how could I not remember it? But it was an irony from destiny that just when he was thinking about him, he would appear in front of his eyes that gray day.

Isak is as beautiful as I remembered. He was a fool that day, but he didn't wanted Isak to carry him, his illness, his own shit, because he had fallen so hard in love with him that he thought he would get sick of love.

And he had to see him again, he had to see those bright green eyes and that precious look just when his wife lost her third pregnancy.

**_Shit_**.

Even didn’t wanted to have kids with her, he got married with her after knowing about the pregnancy, which she lost two or three months later, he didn’t even remembered. He stayed with her some time after the loss because he hated to see her cry and sad, they tried again, without success, and then again.

_'Maybe I am the problem. What if the medication don’t let me have children?'_ But he kept trying just to make Sonja happy.

_'Why do I want her to be happy with my unhappiness?'_ He didn't wanted to be a father under any circumstances! He had thought about it so many times and all those times that he thought about it he arrived to the same conclusion. He did not feel worthy of bringing a life into the world and believed that part of his fear of being together with Isak was that same thing, that he would get pregnant and they would have a child together just to realize that his 'perfect baby' was sick, just like him.

Even cried, he cried because of the horrible situation, it was better to leave Isak at that moment than then having to endure a life like that. He didn't even think about it, he drew the picture and left in a maniacal attack. And when he got home and saw that Isak would never be next to him anymore, the depression attacked him, it hit him like a hammer to the head and torn him apart.  
And there he was now, married to someone he didn't love, receiving the worst news from someone he loved madly and feeling horrible, distraught.

There he was in the waiting room on a Saturday morning, with a coffee in his hands, black, as he liked, it kept him awake. Sonja was under surgery, they were taking her baby out, their baby, their last opportunity of being parents, because Even didn’t wanted to go through this anymore, if possible, he would get under surgery as well to prevent it, but he didn’t wanted to live something like that again.

"Draw!" Said someone to his right. Even turned to see and noticed a little boy of about two or three years old standing in front of him, extending a paper. Even smiled.

"You did it?" He asked the boy, he nodded and handed it over, Even looked at him.

He was surprised at the quality of the drawing he did to be a boy who barely knew how to stand up by himself, Even assumed that he was not more than three years old and his hair was long like a girl's hair and he could see his beautiful blue eyes. Even felt like he knew him.

He lowered his head to see the drawing.

Was it him?

"It's you!" He pointed to confirm, Even looked back at the boy and then at the drawing. “And that's me, I give you the drawing.”

"And this here, what is it?" He asked noticing a kind of yellow spot with two blue wings.

"It's the baby." Even was surprised and looked back at the little boy, what baby?

"What baby?"

"The baby that is with you," the boy smiled, Even was shocked by what he said, extended his right hand and stroked his blond hair.

"It's a very beautiful drawing, can I keep it?" He asked, and the boy nodded. "But art pieces must have the name of the artist, can you write down your name?"

"I don't know how to write yet," the boy said, pointing at a spot. “That’s my signature.”

"Don’t you have a very good lexic to have two, three years?" He asked, the boy raised an eyebrow, surely he didn't know he was a lexic. “I mean you speak very well.”

"Daddy is very strict with me," he said. “I live with many big, older uncles, Eskild is big, Linn is big, Noora is big.”

"I see, you have many uncles." He laughed softly and stroked him again. "Hey, why don't you tell me your name and I will write it on paper?"

"My name is Mathias." Even was surprised again, _Mathias_ , what a beautiful name.

"You have a very beautiful name, do you know what it means?" He asked, the baby boy looked at him again, arching his eyebrow.

"Means? what is that?"

"Hmmm, how can I tell you?" He thought and then smiled. "Well, your name means 'gift of God', so surely you came your daddy and your mommy´s life as a gift."

"I don't have mommy," the little boy said, Even blinked rapidly. "Well, my mommy is my daddy, he had me in his belly."

"Oh, it's true." Even knew that not all children were born to conventional male-female couples, but there were also children born to men or women. "Well, your daddies."

"I only have one," the little one pointed out. "My daddy is my mommy and he is my daddy, in the kindergarden they told me that I should have two daddies, two mommies or one daddy and one mommy, but I only have one daddy."

"Your daddy is more than enough, sweetheart." Even kissed the boy's forehead. "By the way, where is him?"

"Aunt Sana says he's working," he pointed to the Muslim girl at the counter, who looked at both of them with a smile.

"Oh, that´s your aunt?, hello." He greeted her, the girl returned the greeting. "I think it's time for you to have some breakfast."

"There is nothing for breakfast."

"Do you want to have breakfast with me? I can buy you a hot chocolate, but you must be careful because it might be hot."

"I like hot things, Daddy says I should blow to cool it down."

"Daddy is good with you, right?" Even stand up and went to the vending machine, the boy followed him with his eyes. He pressed the buttons for a chocolate with sugar, he knew that children liked sugar, when he had it in his hands, he approached. “Be careful, it's hot.”

"Hmm, I like it," the little boy smiled and continued to drink it with the help of Even, who was holding the glass.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Even had spent the whole morning with the boy until Sana took him. He was a lovely baby, if someone would told him that he was gona have a children like him, he would definitely want to have him. Then he returned to the room where Sonja was, she looked at nothing and cried at times, Even did not wanted to talk to her much, because he simply couldn’t do it, words got stuck in his throat and absolutely nothing came out, so the schedule of visitors passed in silence, touching each other's hands.

  
Even wanted to get divorced, but he knew it was not the right moment to do it or to tell Sonja about it.  
He hadn’t seen Isak trough the day, which made him sad, but when he remembered Mathias drawing with him —because Even told him that he knew how to draw and the boy convinced him to draw together on the floor— his heart jump with happiness. There was something about that boy that made his heart beat harder and he felt it so his that it broke him slowly

During the sunset, he went to get some coffee, when he suddenly heard a crying voice.

"Please, Mathias, not here," said an anguished voice. Even turned around, trying to find the voice and where it came from, but I don't detect it until the crying came back and followed it with the ear.

"Daaadddyyyy soooorrryyyyy…" that little voice he heard was of that boy he met this morning and he couldt avoid to completely happy and fanned. Even noticed the anguish in each word the little boy said and for a second it reminded him of those old footage he had in his house of when he was a little boy.

"Mathi, for God's sake Mathi!" He heard a desperate voice that sounded in despair and anguish, Even ran through the halls until he entered a cubicle in the hospital where the little boy kept hitting the chairs and tables, the young man beside him was overwhelmed, Even took a moment to recognize him, It was Isak.

"What's happening here?" Asked Even.

"My son, my son!" Isak fell to his knees just in time for Even to take him in his arms, Mathias was still having an attack. “I don't know what's going on, he's fine and then he's like that, I don't know what's wrong with him.”

"Im gonna hold him," Even said, and with his long arms he grabbed the creature that began to scream and move frantically.

"DADDY, HELP ME HELP ME, PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO DO IT I DON'T WANT TO!" The little boy screamed and Even had a deja vú of his own story, of him being small and driving his parents crazy.

He took him into his arms and held him close to his body. The boy moved, but easnt able to get away from him.  
Now that Even had him tied up, Isak could get closeand and try to get him to calm down, knowing that now he couldn't escape so easily. Even was huge compared to the child, therefore any movement of Mathias between Even's arms could not cause any damage. Isak took a deep breath and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Is it always like this?" Even asked and Isak nodded. Even looked down to see how the child began to cry more intensely, he was distraught, he was lost. “have you thought ...” Even stopped, Isak looked at him, his eyes were so red and it broke Even's heart. “maybe he have a bipolar disorder.”

"Bi ... bipolar disorder?" he asked.

"Have you ever been depressed?" Even asked, Isak nodded.“ Do you have relatives with any mental illness?”

"My mother is schizophrenic," he muttered, moving his head in negative."I don’t have any mental illness.”

"Damn," he muttered and watched the baby, he was running out of strength in his arms. “he is too young for the symptoms to star presenting, but for me it started at his same age."

"what?"

"I know all this because I have bipolar disorder."

Isak then opened his mouth and went shook. Mathias calmed down a few minutes later and fell asleep. Even didn't see them again for the rest of the day.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"You are all over the place," Sigrid, Even's mother, muttered when she handed him a cup of coffee.

"Nothing, it's just ..."

"Depressed?" Sigrid questioned, Even shook his head in denial. "Did you take your pills?"

"I saw a child yesterday," he muttered and smiled sadly. "Very little. Extremely little in fact. He is three years old."

"And?" Sigrid muttered, probably thinking it was due to his lost fatherhood.

"I think he has bipolar disorder." Even bit his lips, she sighed and sat down. “Lately I've been thinking about that. Mom, I can't have children, but what would have happened if we would have had that child I saw? He was very small, mom ... very small. ”Even started crying and covered his face, Sigrid got up and hugged Even. “I can't do something like that to another human being.”

"Son, there is a possibility that he is bipolar but there is also the possibility that he is not," she mumbled, kissing his son's back. “Neither Jan nor I have mental disorders and you have it, baby, sometimes it happens.”

"But I can't stand it, Mom, if you had seen him. His father was so young and lonely,” Even mumbled. “He has no one, the boy told me he only has one father, the other one is god knows where”

"Well honey, those things happen ..."

"Maybe it wouldn't have happened if I have stayed with him," he mumbled, Sigrid raised her eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"Didn't I tell you?" He asked surprised. "His father is Isak, the boy I was with four years ago.”

"You were with that boy?" Even nodded, his mother looked at him again. “And it turns out that he has a three-year-old bipolar son?”

"What do you mean by that, mom?"

"Have you thought that you can be the father, Even?" His mother arrived to that conclusion faster than he _, why he didn’t thought about that before?_ It was very obvious The baby is three years old, plus the nine months of pregnancy, times fitted perfectly.

"It can't be, he never said anything," he shook his head in denial.

"How many possibilities are there to have a bipolar child when you were with a bipolar before?" Sigrid asked, crossing her arms in her chest, Even looked at her. "Also, you probably didn't take care of yourself, as it happened with Sonja."

"Do you think that boy…?"

"I don't know, I haven't seen him, but today you have to go to the doctor, don't you?" We pass by the hospital and we see him.

"I doubt he will take him there again, you should have seen how he was yesterday, im sure now he is drowning in depression."

"maybe, but I want to see him, if it's my grandson, I want to see him." Sigrid cleaned up the table and Even stayed there. “Even, you have to take care of him if he is yours.

"Do you think I don't want to do it?"

"You never wanted to have kids and that there is a possibility of them to be bipolar its your worst fear”

"But he's already here, it happened, I can't do anything."

"Even, you're smart, I don't have to tell you what your responsibilities are."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

As expected, Isak didn't took Mathias to the hospital that day, or any of the other days. Even tried to find him, but Isak was hiding from him and although Sigrid accompanied him a couple of times, any of those times they were able to talk with isak, he just passed by almost running, looked at them and tried to covere his face.  
Sigrid and Even stayed in the waiting room while the visiting hours passed by, soon Sonja would be discharged and he would no longer have to go to the hospital.

"Hello," the Muslim girl that he saw with Mathis the other day said to Sigrid and Even. "I noticed that you have been looking for someone, I suppose someone little, of this size.” Sana ducked her head showing Mathias's height. "Blue eyes, blond hair and quite hyperactive."

"I don't want to sound like a pedophile, but… yes." Even bit his lips.

"I haven’t introduced myself, I'm Sana Bakkoush, I'm a future medical surgeon, I'm doing my internships with Isak."

"Nice to meet you, Sana, I'm Even Bech Næsheim and she's my mother, Sigrid."

"So you are Even." She smiled and crossed her arms. “I knew it.”

"Really?"

"Listen, I don't want to sound nasty, but you broke my best friend's heart and we had to lift him up with shovels. The fact that you appear here after four years is destabilizing him and for that he already has Mathias” Sana said, frowning. "What do you want?"

"I ..." Even looked down, Sana was right, he left Isak with a broken heart and now he was practically stalking him and his son. "I just wanted to know how Mathias was."

"Mathias is fine, is that all?" Sana asked.

"I want to know if he is my grandson," Sigrid said, Even looked at her in surprise, just like Sana. "A photo, I need a photo to prove it."

"Why would I give you a picture of Mathias? I do not know you.”

"Please, Sana." The Sigrid took Sana's hands. "I can't change what Even did, but I need to know if I have a grandson, I could help Isak with Mathias's problem. We can help him"

"Mathias don’t have any problem."

"I'm bipolar," Even said, both women looked at him. "And it is very likely that a son of mine has the same thing. I helped Isak and Mathias the other day, if the child is mine, he probably is."

"Please, Sana, help us." Sana huffed, she searched inside her pants pocket and pulled out her phone, unlocked it, entered the gallery and looked for the cutest picture, one where Isak and Mathias were smiling, she showed it to Sigrid and she opened the eyes, shooked.

"oh my God!” He claimed. “He is identical to you when you were little, he is your son, Even, he is your son,” She mumbled.

"You don't look surprised," Even said.

"I knew you were the father, but it is Isak was the one who had to tell you," the Sana said, keeping her phone again.

"Can I talk to Isak?" He asked, Sana sighed.

"I'll see what I can do only if he wants to see you," she mumbled and left mother and son alone.

"It's your baby, Even, you have a son ..."

"And I cursed him." He covered his face with his hands. Even felt distraught.

"You can help him, Even, you were able to live happily, if you can do it, he can do it. He can be happy."

"I don't know, mom, I don't know ..."

**To be continued.**


End file.
